People often come together for a meal for various occasions. Moreover, food is often the perfect way to experience a new culture. Shortly after moving to France, I met someone I now call my boyfriend. This is totally new to me, but I am learning so much from Matthieu. I was extremely grateful to be invited to his sister’s surprise birthday a couple of weeks ago on his aunt and uncle’s farm. The farm is situated about 40 minutes outside the city of Angers, in Cheffes, France. They raise cattle for dairy and meat, corn, rabbits, and chickens (among other things). Despite my fascination with the agriculture, I was captivated by his family’s welcoming nature towards someone who can barely speak a full sentence of their language.
When we arrived at the farm, about 30 of his family members and friends greeted us. To say I was intimidated is an understatement. I was nervous, not only to meet my boyfriend’s entire family, but also I was afraid to interact with people who speak a completely different language than me. I wondered if I would unintentionally offend someone, yet this was not the case at all. Since I had already met Matthieu’s parents the previous week, his mother was quick to introduce me to her siblings, cousins, and countless other family members and friends. Although we could not say more than a few words to each other, they seemed to be happy to meet me. I felt a sense of belonging and was honored that they let me be a part of this special occasion.
At the beginning of the party (around 9pm), we drank some red wine, which was followed by some champagne. Matthieu’s sister, Margaux, was extremely surprised and pleased to see all of her family and some of her close friends at her aunt and uncle’s house to celebrate her 18th birthday. Matthieu and Margaux are about a year apart in age, and their relationship reminded me so much of my relationship with my sister Alexa. Being so far away from home and watching them interact made me miss Alexa greatly. I was still so happy to be in the presence of a wonderful family celebrating such a joyous occasion, even though I missed my own family.
As the night progressed, we sat down for a fantastic home cooked meal: paella (see picture above). I have not eaten a better meal in France till this day. Followed by a birthday cake and other delicious desserts, we drank a tasty, strong after dinner pear liquor called “Liqueur de poire.” There was loud music and a place for people to dance. Nearly everyone sang and danced until the early hours of the morning. If I learned one thing that night, it was that the French know how to eat and drink (and party). Matthieu’s family was warm and friendly towards me and made me feel like I was part of their family. Above all, they seemed to genuinely enjoy each other’s company, which was refreshing to see.
The next day we awoke around noon. I immediately went to explore the farm in the daylight with Matthieu. I saw the rows of corn, the cattle roaming in their paddocks, the rabbits eating in their cages, and the chickens. It might sound mundane to some (Matthieu grew up around all of this so it was nothing new to him), but I was in awe at the diversity on the farm. There were pear trees and a home vegetable garden as well as two baby calves that were born two days earlier. They were, by far, the cutest animals on the farm. I had Matthieu to help me talk to his aunt about the farm. He translated for me as I asked some basic questions about their home. They raise the cows primarily for milk production, so generally they do not keep the male calves (which meant one of the two baby cows I saw were going to be turned into veal). I did not get a chance to ask them about their specific farming techniques, as Matthieu was exhausted from having to be my translator the night before. Their farm, however, was breathtakingly beautiful and full of life. I felt at peace there and not at all out of place. I am thankful to have had this experience with Matthieu and his family.
Another thing I learned on this trip to the countryside was that the French do not like to say quick goodbyes. After exploring the farm in the daylight, whoever remained from the party sat down to eat a late lunch and to continue celebrations for Margaux’s birthday. We ended up staying until the about 6pm, after many of Matthieu’s family members helped with the cleanup from the party the previous night. Once the house was back in order, we said goodbye to his family in the traditional French way of two (or sometimes four) kisses on each cheek. It may have seemed like a long goodbye, but when I think back on it I believe the reason it was not a quick goodbye was because no one wanted to leave. Their family is very close and they did not want to say goodbye or leave without helping clean up. I felt this was truly thoughtful of them and so adorable.
I do not normally write blog posts that are this personal, but I am glad to be able to share my wonderful experience with others. With an approaching research internship that I must complete next semester (which could take place anywhere in the world), the future of me and Matthieu’s relationship is far from certain, yet I am still so happy to have met such an incredible and thoughtful human being. I am trying to live in the present moment and enjoy our time together without letting the future ruin today. We can never know what could happen in the future 🙂
“Tomorrow is tomorrow.
Future cares have future cures,
And we must mind today.”